Hey everyone, I could really use some advice from those of you who’ve navigated similar situations.
I’m 21, and my girlfriend who's also 21, is my first serious adult relationship. We’ve been together for about four years, and we’ve definitely had our ups and downs - especially early on, when I wasn’t always as thoughtful as I could have been. We worked through that, but I sometimes get the sense that there’s still a little lingering tension or worry on her part.
Recently, though, things have shifted a bit. She’s been exploring her faith more deeply, which I fully respect and support. The thing is, it’s created some new dynamics in our relationship. She’s decided that she wants to hold off on being intimate until marriage now, this is something we hadn’t planned on changing after nearly four years of being together. She’s also talking about wanting to get married and have kids fairly early on in life, while I’ve always wanted to finish my degree and travel for a couple of years and focus on other goals first before settling down. In my head that’s been between 28-32, I genuinely think that’s an ok time in my life - I am only going to finish my degree at 25 after all.
I guess I’m just feeling a bit trapped or confused. I love her, as a partner, as a person, as a friend and I don’t want to just throw away a relationship that’s meant a lot to me. On the other hand, I’m not sure how to reconcile these big life changes and differences in our timelines. Has anyone been through something like this? Any advice on how to approach these conversations or figure out what to do would be hugely appreciated.
TL;DR: My girlfriend (4 years together, both 21) wants marriage, kids, and no intimacy until marriage soon, while I want to wait, travel, and settle later — I’m conflicted about whether our futures align.