I've been with my current therapist for about a 1.5 years now, for childhood trauma and the common comorbidities of it. I am in my 30's, I have been in out of therapy since I was 14, I've probably seen 5-6, at least for 5 or more sessions. My current therapist is the only that I've feared losing the relationship. I have been reflecting on it, but I cannot for the life of me figure out why.
I was extremely skeptically of them, they are younger than me and just got their license when we started working together. I thought I would humor them for some sessions than they would see I was too much and pass me on to the group owner. (The owner was who I was hoping because of their have specialty in specific type of trauma, that I experienced).
I told them at the beginning, I'll probably you ghost you at some point. Instead I haven't even no showed them, I've only cancelled twice. They are the first therapist, and one of few people in general that truly fear losing. We vaguely discuss attachment, since I avoid that topic. I just keep racking my brain why them. (I do not understand the whole concept of "transference" that people on this sub love to use, probably often incorrectly, so please don't tell me I have transference).