u/Anxietyruler2024

I’m stepmom to 3 now college age boys. I’ve been in their lives for 17 years and helped my husband raise them. Their mother is still around and in their lives when she feels like it. I took on the mothering role full force from the time they were ages 5,7 and 8. I’ve taken them to games, made meals, bought clothes food, helped with homework and taken care of them when they are sick- all that and then some as a mother would. Anyway my bday was yesterday and 2 of the boys are away at school. The oldest has graduated and is back home with us. The youngest called to wish me a happy birthday. I assume the middle child forgot since he didn’t call or text. The one who’s home with us went out to dinner with his friends and returned around 10pm with a piece of cake that he said he got for free and said happy birthday. He has a birthday next week and my husband and I normally give him cash. It’s just $200 since he also has a graduation ceremony next month that we’re giving him money for. I’m annoyed that my husband thought the free piece of cake was a nice sentiment and I’m also annoyed that he didn’t remind our middle child about my bday. Is it petty of me to give the oldest nothing for his bday? He’s not a child anymore -he’s 23. I feel like if that’s how I’m gonna be treated I’ll give it right back. I feel like I’m being childish but at the same time I’ve given so much to this family. They never forget their mother’s bday and she treats them like nothing.