I(21F) live with my parents and work overnights at walmart. I have no dreams and have no idea what the hell I'm gonna have as a career. I don't have the drive to do anything. And I hate this feeling.
One of the main reasons why I wanna just run away is because my parents argue a lot. Ever since I was a kid, so I know they don't love each other. My mom cheated emotionally on my dad (and still is) while my dad has done the same in the past. They're both so toxic to each other but they aren't separating cause its complicated and because of my little brothers (9 and 10). Another reason is my bf. He lives in another state and I've just been considering if I should just leave everything behind and go to him. He knows all about my family issues and he's seen them before.
At the same time, I don't even know how to be an adult. I don't know if what I wanna do is a good idea. I always expect the worse in any scenario so maybe I should just give it all up. I hate walking on eggshells around my parents when they are in a room together. I don't even know what family love looks like and I get so envious of people who have a good family dynamic. I'll just sleep this off like I always do.