AITA for yelling back at my father?
I (17F) love my house very much; it's been with me since birth, sheltering me from rain and heat.
My parents keep on telling us that they'll build a house for us, but it's been years. I understand that it takes time, but as a family with no son, in a culture that loves sons, it's hard to be hopeful.
I've talked to my parents about this topic a lot, but they keep on telling me that I'm being ungrateful. I wish I were being ungrateful..
It's embarassing to have my friends over..
I am very extroverted..but I stopped socialising because I'm embarassed of this place. It's dirty no matter how much I clean it, it's always covered in dust, and with AuDHD, it's even more infuriating when my parents don't take my diagnosis seriously.
Even people who earn way less than my dad keep on building their homes, or at least, they're renovating it. My dad only listens to me whenever I bring up my medical aspiration.
I don't plan to marry..I've learned that most men don't care about future planning, ''leadership", etc.
I feel like I'm the one who keeps on planning, doing all the heavy lifting despite being 17 and the eldest.
I feel ashamed to bring my friends over...
In fact, I stopped having friends just to avoid a particular interaction. The only people in my life with whom I'm don't feel embarassed are Ben and James.
''You've never asked for anything."
"We could always count on you."
"You're so strong."
I don't want to be strong..
I want to be a teenager..
Not a worn out exhausted anxious person.
It's overwhelming to see dust inspite of cleaning over and over.
I don't even like to wear cute dresses like girls my age because I feel like I'm not worth it when I turn back and see the flaking paint of the walls of my house. My parents say, "You've always been so strong and mature. What can AuDHD do to you?". And like that, they let me be..
I feel like everything is on me..
Just a few hours ago, my dad yelled at me shouting
"Why do you always talk back? You're disrespectful!! Your friends are in their paths now! They're in coaching centres! Why won't you join one??!"
To which I replied
"Their parents are rich. Moreover, they plan for them! What about you? Do you wish I'll just get married?? I won't! I don't want my children to be stuck with a grandparent like you!"
I know I was being harsh..but my heart knows it was pent up all these while. When I told them that I was diagnosed with Autism and ADHD, they expected that it would be "cured through Christ" and my endometriosis would be cured "only if I believed I'd be cured".
I feel trapped in this house..
I don't know if I should leave when I get the chance...
It'll be easier if I cared only for myself..
But what about my sisters...
I'm in a dilemma..
Nonetheless,
Please tell me it gets better.
I want some optimism at the moment.