I got with my now husband when his ex was newly pregnant by him. When she had the baby, since they had other kids, I also in turn had the baby while he works. Fresh newborn, was left for me to take care of since she went back to work almost instantly. I’ve now become pregnant, and having the baby all day every week day, with pregnancy hormones I am losing my mind.
I had already expressed to him I felt like I had PPD from a baby I never gave birth to. I was experiencing it all, the emotions, the rage, and the just dark dark cloud over me. That tied with now being pregnant, I am unsure how much more I can handle. This is so difficult. The bio mom truly isn’t much help, my husband is but I believe is becoming even more helpful really seeing how down I’m getting. He just made an appointment for me for Friday, to try and get me some help. This is just a lot, and something I’ve never experienced. Taking care of a newborn (now 4 months) and being pregnant. Both firsts for me.
I don’t feel like myself, I don’t like anyone in my life, I’ve lost every motherly instinct I’ve ever had even though I know I was destined to be a mother. I am the most nurturing person I know, but that woman feels long gone now. I have zero patience, zero compassion and zero care. I want my old self back. I don’t know what to do. My situation is very sticky and I am stuck.