Hi all, I’d love to get some opinions/advice on this. Yesterday I had someone that I was friends with for about 10 years call me and say she did not want to be friends with me anymore, she did it via video call and hung up. Then when I called proceeded to text argue and make herself look innocent, I called out her bad behaviors (there’s a backstory) and she then proceeded to block me and play it as if she was the victim in this. She’s a mid 30s female, I’m a late 20s female.
Backstory, I met this girl in college. She comes from an unstable family environment, not emotionally mature, doesn’t really sustain many of her friendships with women long term etc. It was always difficult to deal with her as her behaviors were constant mood swings, taking any jokes or sarcasm to heart (she had always been insecure and even said she didn’t like herself etc), always thought people were hating on her, was never considerate, always blamed me for asking for “too much” when I’d point out when she wouldn’t be too respectful in the friendship. Fast forward to the last couple of years, I’ve achieved higher level degrees, work in my industry and am creating a life for myself. On her side, she is struggling with self concept and image, issues with family, work a low paying job she dislikes, finished her bachelors and couldn’t find work, general unhappiness etc (all things said from her mouth btw, not me saying it).
I had noticed that throughout my growth she had been more increasingly difficult and rude. The more I seemed to achieve, the worse she seemed to get. Everything turned into a problem to a point where I was clocking her every three weeks for saying something snarky or being plain inconsiderate. I also went through something a couple weeks back that was hard on me, she didn’t show up or do anything at all. I have quite literally always shown up whether it be physically, check in, monetarily, rides to places etc whatever was needed. When it was my time, she went ghost and didn’t even bother to ask or suggest once.
Fast forward to last week, she was talking about her issues as usual. I expressed to her how I felt like she hasn’t really been there for me much especially during a rough time that she’s aware of and I’ve literally sat here through a multitude of conversations of her issues and problems and her crying about how much she dislikes her life and self etc. yet absolutely nothing no attention was given to what I’m going through. I said I’d appreciate it if she showed more effort. She got rude and said her “capacity” is limited to a text and call with an occasional hangout when SHE feels like it and that’s her version of “showing up”. I found that ironic as she’s not only asked for but taken so much of my time and energy throughout the years, on a WEEKLY basis. I told her if her bar is that low, I will adjust my boundaries and her place in my life accordingly. She even went as far as to say she doesn’t have a “support system” because she “does everything herself” (usual self centered commentary I’ve heard throughout the years).
We didn’t speak all this week. Btw I’ve never set my boundaries that firmly with her throughout the years because I did turn the other cheek in hoping she would be better. I had enough at this point. She chose to randomly ambush me that morning and say she wanted to end the friendship because we don’t “mesh” and there’s constant arguing. I told her it’s due to her shitty behaviors and ironic how when I enforce a boundary after catering for all these years, she just can’t deal with it. Btw this person is also someone who believes everyone including their own sister is jealous of them for whatever reason unknown. She also has been desperate to find a man and get married to a point where she gets triggered and starts crying and goes into a spiral at news of someone else’s happiness, she did it to her own family member recently (all of which I said to her).
I’m seeing that this person in general was never a good person and the character traits suck. I did rip her a little bit of a new asshole where I could but she was quick because she knew I’d address a lot of things directly on the call. I’m irritated at the fact that she did this in a punk ass manner and didn’t give the mere respect of sitting down and speaking. As much as I feel relieved at the fact that she’s finally out of my life with the negative energy, I still want to rip her to shreds for the behavior and what I’ve had to put up with this past decade by turning the other cheek.
Any opinions or advisement/analysis would be great on the situation. I thank you in advance!