u/Antifa-Eiden

Goodmorning everybody ,

Im a teen from Italy and in the past month i have been experience sleep paralisis almost daily, they were all normal episode , i never opened my eyes.

This morning i had two, back to back. The first i don't really remember but im pretty sure it went normal but the second one was really different.

I woke up at around 7 with my back to the ceiling ,rather than the usual "back towards the mattress", my arms were under my chest and my feet were wrapped around each other. I felt a huge weight on my back almost as i couldn't breathe.

For some reason i felt compelled to open my eyes even tho i knew i probably will start getting hallucinations. I had barelly opened them , not even enough to see anything or to make out a figure when i heard a really loud kinda static white noise. Naturally that made me close my eyes and the moment i closed them i heard my father's voice call my name. It almost felt as whatever was in my room tried to make me open my eyes by calling my name, nobody else heard it.

This period of the year has been real tough on me and it's been home to a bunch of toughts and attempts ( i have the help i need don't worry ) maybe that's what influenced it ?

Thx

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u/Antifa-Eiden — 14 days ago

Hi , i don't know if this is the right subreddit to post this but ill post it anyways.

I used to play volleyball in a male team, i was really happy when i played and i just felt so connected and alive.

Around September of 2025 i started getting severly bullied , verbally and phisically by some of my teammates , following these incidents i started develop a lot of suicidal toughts and even attempts.

I quit volleyball around the end of January thinkinf Volleyball was the reason i hated life and so i would NEVER play again.

Fast forward to today i started talking to a therapist and i have been described Lithium as a mood stabilizer. Now that i am better and more eager to live i started getting that itch. That itch for volleyball.

I am really scared the experience might end up the same or even worse as the previous one, but i am also excited and determined to fullfill the dream i used to have : Show the world I AM SOMEONE.

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u/Antifa-Eiden — 15 days ago