I got diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) and have been gone since late February and I ended up withdrawing for the semester. I’m still graduating and will be back for commencement, but I can’t help but feel FOMO since I see people posting about senior traditions and whatnot on Instagram. I know I shouldn’t be beating myself up more than I already am, but it’s just hard not to — I just wonder if there’s something I could’ve done differently. I was underloading and that could’ve played a role (giving me too much free time to be in my own head). I know there’s no point in mulling over it, I just wanted to get it out of my system.
I also applied for graduate school here and was offered an interview, but I turned it down because of my current state; I reached back out and asked if I could interview they said I still could. I honestly just want to get it out of the way even if I botch it and get rejected so I can stop thinking about it. I mention this because I’m scared to potentially be so far from home again — I’ve been 6+ hours away from home since I’ve started college (I’m from west Tennessee and went to Tennessee before transferring here) and interned out in DC last summer, and I’ve no clue how the hell I was able to hold my own in retrospect, I’ve just completely regressed and can hardly get out of bed now.