u/AnswerOutside7922

Bhnchod exam se ek din phle ye lawda sanjeev ye sb bakchodi kr wa rha h

Bhnchod itte serious tum log padhane ya placements k lie ho jitte ye lauda attendance ke lie ?

I never realised that my parents were this controlling and i will have to hurt them or fight them to get basic freedom

so since childhood i have been pretty close to my parents and they love me a lot.
my dad is the greenest flag to me, he treats me like a princess (yes i am papa ki pari)

bachpan se hi my life was only about studying. i have always got good grades so i am automatically everyone's fav. ik that's fucked but that's how society works. had zero social life. when my friends used to go to cafes i had to say no coz i knew my dad won't allow it (here my dad is a red flag :))

i remember meri dost ka bday, i was in class 7th ig or before that i don't remember. she invited me to her birthday, it was her whole family there. i reached there at 8 and literally i could have sat for half an hour when i saw my dad standing at the restaurant entrance to pick me up. i was devastated.
that was because my grandpa was so angry ki “how did you let a girl child out at night”
bro it was her whole damn family there !!

moving on, now i am in clg gonna be in 3rd year in a month.
social interaction? nearly zero (mainly because of me) but that's how my parents have built me!! i don't talk a lot and all that stuff. let it be, i know i am at fault here too.

i participated in a society in 1st sem but my dad was pissed that it will affect my studies.
okay understandable.

i wanted to and went to a lot of outings in 1st sem because i wanted to explore the world but each time my dad was pissed, unka muh ban jata tha and if i say aaj fest h he would be like “iske number milenge??”
ok unko nhi pata clg life, let it be understandable.

i thought i am disappointing them so i stopped going out.
2nd sem passed, i cancelled plans and rotted in my room studying.
3rd sem same thing.
4th sem same thing.

when i bring this topic that for your happiness sake i don't go out and even if i say i want to go out you get pissed, they completely ignore my words and like am i barking at the wall or something?

a few days back i put a pfp on wtsp, it was like a cute pout (not cringe) picture. i had wonderful makeup on. my dad was like “hata de ise” i was like why? he was like “aisi photos achi nhi lagti.”
what's wrong in that?

moving on, i had this picture on my insta pfp, it was in an off shoulder top?! he was like “ye kaisa photo h kuch pehna bhi h isme?”
i was like meri marzi mera photo. they ignored it but i changed the picture though i cried the whole night thinking that i was in delusion that they aren't controlling.

i told my mom that i wanna get nose and ear piercings and get my hair coloured. she was like “you have got wings, zyada bigad gayi h” and all that. brooooo if you see people in my clg you will be devastated !!

today she was telling me about my cousin, how she got an internship, she is good in studies and extracurriculars as well, basically praising her. i was okay yeah i like her too she's multi talented which i am not.

then she goes “tum log ka dimag bas fashion me h !!”
bro mere ek subject ke marks pure khandaan ke bacho se zyada aate h !!
i was heartbroken bhai aur kya karu m inke liye ab !!

and when i told her that this is literally double standards because when my cousin does things it's cool and talented but when i want basic things suddenly i am “bigad gayi”, she goes “vo meri beti nhi h tu h”

that line genuinely broke something in me.

So the thing is my digestive system is fucked. It kills the shit outta me every other day.

Back in 2023 I got esophagus ulcers for some reason, I don’t even remember exactly why, and then some very tiny ulcers in my stomach too. Somehow recovered from that.

Then I came out of home for college, started eating outside food and guess what everything got fucked again.

In 2024 I suffered unbearable stomach pain and got treated for it. Then AGAIN in 2025 it happened, so I got a proper checkup done. Doctor said I need to increase physical activity, avoid milk and maida, and gave me medicines.

It’s fucking May 2026 now and I STILL get this killing pain every other day.

Like genuinely what the fuck do I even do at this point? I followed everything he said. Took all the medicines, changed food habits, tried fixing stuff, and even after HOURS the pain is still killing me.

And before anyone says “maybe you’re exaggerating” I can tolerate period pain, this shit is WAY worse than that. Imagine the intensity. At this point I feel like a superhuman for surviving this repeatedly 😭

Maybe it’s the mess food idk anymore but I’m so tired of this. Sometimes I genuinely feel like dying instead of dealing with this pain again and again.

idk what’s happening with me lately but i’ve started fearing men in a way i didn’t before

like earlier i used to be chill, even argue if needed, but now even small disagreements make me overthink a lot

i keep thinking what if their ego gets hurt and they start abusing me or call me names like “randi” or even worse, what if they give threats or something

nothing like that has happened to me directly, but the possibility itself scares me

today i had a small argument with mess staff. i wasn’t rude, i just asked him to call the person responsible. he kept arguing so i ignored him and left

i felt proud in the moment, but later i kept thinking “what if this had gone wrong?”

even though i know the environment is safe, the fear is still strong

idk what’s happening with me lately but i’ve started fearing men in a way i didn’t before

like earlier i used to be pretty chill, even argue if needed, but now even small disagreements make me overthink a lot.

i keep thinking what if their ego gets hurt and they start abusing me or call me names like “the R word” (yk how casually some people say this) or even worse, what if they give r*pe threats or something, ik that's my overthinking but some men do get so pissed over small things

nothing like that has actually happened to me directly, but the possibility itself scares me a lot.

today i had a small argument with mess staff. i wasn’t even being disrespectful, i just told him to call the person responsible so i could talk to them because clearly it's not him so there's no point in fighting him yk. but he kept arguing again and again so i just ignored him and left.

in the moment i actually felt kind of proud of myself for not backing down and people around me were acting like i won gold or something like they were bosting me up so much like woww you're so cool you ragebaited him. but later this fear kicked in again like “what if his ego got hurt and he does something to me like idk why is this fear so prominent?”

the weird part is i know the environment around me is safe. nothing actually happened. but still that fear is there and it’s strong.

maybe it’s just the feeling of being a girl and knowing how things *can* go sometimes.