I don’t really know where the line is between “working through something as a couple” and “being worn down over time,” but I feel like I’ve crossed it.
Ever since our son turned one, there’s been constant pressure to have a second child.
At first I tried to understand it. She lost her mum, and I think the idea of another child became something to hold onto. Something positive in the middle of grief. I get that.
But instead of dealing with the grief, everything just kept moving:
– pregnancy
– newborn phase
– survival mode
– and now… this ongoing push for another child
And it hasn’t just been “I’d like another child.”
It’s been:
– repeated conversations that never actually resolve
– emotional pressure
– at times, threats about the relationship if we don’t move forward
We went to marriage counselling in 2024. The therapist said we both needed individual therapy.
I did it.
She didn’t.
This came up again at the end of 2025 during another argument about having a second child. She agreed to therapy, did a few sessions… then stopped. I only found out because I saw the cancellation confirmation and billing summary.
She told me she was still going.
That honestly broke something for me.
Because now it’s not just disagreement. It’s pressure + avoidance + dishonesty.
At the same time, I’m being told that I’m the reason we’re stuck, that I’m blocking the future she wants, that this is the core issue in our relationship.
From my side, it feels completely backwards.
I don’t understand how bringing another child into a relationship that already feels unstable is supposed to fix anything.
I feel like I’ve been clear:
I’m not saying “never.”
I’m saying “not like this.”
But that just turns into more pressure, more resentment, and more circular arguments.
I’m exhausted.
I feel like I’m either:
– the obstacle to her happiness
– or the only one taking responsibility for fixing things
And neither of those feels like a marriage.
I don’t even know what I’m asking for here.
I think I just needed to say it somewhere without it turning into another argument.