Free use advice wanted!
Hi! I'm a 23 year old woman in need of a bit of advice about d/s and free use. I will talk about a situation I went through and after I will ask a few questions. Thank you for taking your time and helping me! ☺️
I've been dating a guy for a while and we talked about our sexual interests.
We also have been sexually active with each other for a while.
I said he could have free use since everything was going well and we do talk good and openly (and it's a kink of mine). We talked about limits.
I was sick for two days and the day after that he came over at night (I asked him to so we could fall asleep together). He said he had a surprise for me. I told him as long as it isn't "his dick" because I could not do with such a lame joke and I had been sick so I wasn't in the mood to fuck all night.
He came over. I noticed he had drank a lot of alcohol (which he told me beforehand he'd only had a few so he could still drive). I asked him how much he had. Then he told me oh uuuh 8 beers, a few Bacardi Coke's and a few shots (so I wasn't happy with that because he had driven to me, otherwise I would've let him stay at his home)
He told me that he had taking a "sex pill" (I think some kind of Viagra). I was kinda confused, since I've told him that I wasn't in the mood for his dick (but okay free use I kinda get it?). And also he had way more to drink than 5 beers over the night. Then he started groping me hard. I stopped him and told him I needed more time tonight to warm up. Since I was fairly confused by the situation (which I had told him). He didn't really stop, I had to pull that man off me.
We got into bed and he didn't stop :/. I didn't feel a connection at all and felt sorry for inviting him. I told him he needed to stop and we went to sleep.
The next morning I woke up to the sound of him vomiting in my toilet. So I asked him if he'd had a hangover. He was in denial (later that day we came back to it and he told me he felt a lot better). When I asked him about last night he didn't respond (pretended to be asleep, mumbled a little). I had asked a few times.
Well you could imagine that I was done with it. (And you should know I'm a soft person so I'm a type of kill em with kindness). I made us breakfast since he was having his hangover. And then send him home .
*My questions being*
Free use is still with a "vibe check" right? Like if somebody says no it's no (it's not like cnc?).
Is it okay for someone to take a sex pill without checking in with somebody after you knew somebody was not feeling well for a few days? (Or should you check in with your sub?)
How to prevent this from happening?
And yes I have told him after we shouldn't see each other anymore.