It’s not a new realization for me that I’m just not good at love. I’ve always given too much only to receive too little, and I think it’s been that way for as long as I can remember.
Being alone has always come easily to me because, as a kid, nobody wanted to be around me. I was the "weirdo." The "different" one. So, I just got used to the environment I was raised in: solitude.
By the time I reached the age of wanting something real, I already had a trail of failed attempts at love behind me. Some lasted months, others years, and recently—after years of suffering—I found her. The girl who made my eyes light up from the very first moment.
In her, I saw that I could be a better person; I felt I could pour my heart out and get twice as much in return. And that’s how it went for about a month.
Today, May 2nd, 2026, my heart was broken again. I am the mistake, and I’m tired of trying to convince myself otherwise. She openly admitted she messed up by saying everything she said because, guess what? I was
her first boyfriend... and I gave 1000%.
She dedicated a song to me: BB (Garupa De Moto Amarela).
I dedicated one to her: Just The Two Of Us.
For the first time, I was welcomed with open arms by a kind, united, strong, and hardworking family who taught me what having a real family actually feels like.
And now, I don’t know where to go.
You know that song Why Can’t We Be Friends? Well, I proposed that to her, and she accepted. Just so we can get to know each other better and maybe develop a feeling strong enough to last.
She knows she messed up. She hugs me. She calls me "Darling." She even let me sleep in her bed... and all of this just to be "friends"? Do you understand?
Am I the mistake? Did I do something wrong? Or does God just enjoy screwing me over without a second thought?
And through her mother, I found out that, for now, she’s harboring resentment and bitterness toward me... which makes this such a strange feeling. I gave her everything I ever wanted for myself, and yet it still wasn't enough? WHY!?
I think it’s ingratitude. She hid how she really felt, and now she’s talking behind my back… why? Is it because I’m just not good enough for her?