Will it ever ‘click’ if I’m still bad at 100 hours?
I’m at about 100 hours of lessons in a manual. I knew I’d find it hard (poor spatial awareness, anxiety, being older) but I’ve been really dismayed by how hard I’m finding it.
I failed my first test a couple of months ago and was quite upset by how badly - one dangerous, 3 serious and 7 minors. My instructor is very supportive - he clearly doesn’t think I’m a genius when it comes to driving but thinks my biggest struggle is anxiety - and was surprised at the faults. I think he thought i might fail, but not that badly. The dangerous one was from somehow thinking a bus in traffic was parked and trying to overtake it - really frightened me. The other serious ones were from being on a dual carriageway - we hadn’t practised it enough in retrospect and i switched lanes without spotting someone too close - I looked in mirrors but not behind me in blind spot. This has left me feeling incredibly nervous about dual carriageways.
I took it pretty hard but resolved to carry on. Now, a couple of months later I’m just wondering if it will ever be possible for me. I’ve got to say it gets me down a lot. I feel incredibly stupid. Everyone else can do this, it seems. I’ve spent nearly 4k or more.
I have another test booked for August, I just am not sure I can do it. My partner has a manual car so we wanted me to learn to do this, but I’m wondering if automatic makes more sense. Yet that seems like a compromise that would involve buying a new car - or perhaps just having a license without a car to drive - which seems ridiculous. And kind of a failure. But maybe I’m deluding myself that I’m capable of it.
If it hasn’t clicked by now, is it going to? Some parts are fine, but I feel anxious a lot. I can’t tell if I should dig deep and keep throwing myself at it or accept that I can’t do it and try and make peace with it.