u/AndrewLyssunov

I've read time and time again about how social isolation seemingly destroys the inner psychological state of the average person — however — I find it hard to believe that this would apply to me.

I never get lonely and don't even understand what it feels like. As long as I know I am safe then there is nothing to worry about. Simply being around others is not a need in itself, but only a consequence of me having a requirement for something else, e.g. food, shelter, security. If those needs are met — then I'm just chilling and having a good time.

Sure, sometimes I like to share my opinion with others — like I am now — but if I can't do that then it's cool too. I would be hard pressed to call this something that results in me feeling any sort of distress — quite the opposite actually.

Ultimately, I feel that we need to take a grain of salt with all scientific studies vis-à-vis the average — we truly are that different.

I’ve tried drinking many times — got up to a BAC of 0.2.

Sure, my speech gets slurred and I feel wobbly, but at no point does my subjective experience improve nor do I feel better.

I find it hard to believe that peoples’ personality changes when they drink, or that they lose “control” when they do, as from my experience I just get a headache.

My theory is that I already feel good at baseline, so drinking doesn’t do anything. It’s strange though because my parents often get drunk from the same things I drink (chiefly, water kefir, a fermented beverage that can get quite alcoholic)

I suspect this is due to my anhedonia, but that strangely this doesn’t seem to apply for other schizoids, who react normally to alcohol.

Any ideas?

I noticed that often neurotypicals feel distressed after masturbating, despite on paper not being horny anymore.

Are they not satisfied by the sexual release?

I learned over the years that watching porn and masturbation is something that is preferably to be avoided. However, I don't actually feel inherently bad after the event, it's just something that I was conditioned to perceive as bad due to the constant barrage of talk about it.

This became more clear to me as I came to the realization that stories of "depression", "demotivation", "sadness" etc. after jerking off don't actually apply to me.

Sure, I am not longer horny after the fact, but isn't that the point? To be honest, I feel quite good after — I am clear headed and am free to do whatever I want.

Do schizoids and neurotypicals have different goals vis-à-vis sex?

I'm suspecting we have different neurological pathways — for example, I've heard of sex being classified as a dopaminergic activity, despite the fact that I can clearly tell from my own subjective experience that the motivation to have sex and the motivation to engage in dopamine activity have absolutely no overlap — it feels different in my brain, and I certainly do not feel less inclined to do anything after orgasm more than prior to it.

It's bizarre that I am only now discovering that not everybody feels this way.

I can't imagine jerking off after the fact and still craving something after. That doesn't sound pleasant.

What are your thoughts on this matter?