Hey there reddit. Just need a little venting and maybe a different perspective on the matter could help.
For context I am celebrating my 30s on the 16th with a very special party, we got catering, decoration, a theme, a special cake. I am not a very big birthday person. I actually haven’t properly celebrated in years, but I wanted this one to be special and my husband was fully onboard with us hosting. I live 40min to 1hr drive from my hometown, and 5 of my closest friends still live there. 4 of them already said they couldn’t come (I invited them 1 month before the date). Reason is logistics, the commute, another person’s bday, and such.
The fifth one is coming (my BF), but just for lunch (party is at night) because she has no means for transport (she is coming/going with my parents). That I understand, I was the one arranging her to drive with them actually. But the rest of them just were so… dismissive. I mean, I know I live far away, but they do have vehicles, I have also offered them to stay. We have a guest room, spare beds, I mean we can definitely sort it out with a little bit of interest. But no, they said “yeah, let us know when you are coming here so we can go out for drinks!”. I don’t drink.
Worst thing is this isn’t even a friend group. They all know each other (back from Highschool) but they aren’t really friends with each other now (no fighting, just, not being close), I am the only matching point. And knowing that all of them, on their own, decided it wasn’t worth the trip, it’s killing me. I love them, of course I do, and I have not missed any of their birthdays, ever. Even being 1hr away, and I don’t drive. Including their 30s (which 3 of them already celebrated). Anyway they all just replied to my invitation saying they were not going to make it. I just replied “that sucks, you’ll miss the party” and that’s it.
Party is not being cancelled though, I have paid a bunch of money already. The family and my husband’s friends are coming (the boys live here, I like them ofc, but they are just not my friends, not like that at least).
I know adulthood is hard, we all have responsibilities and things to attend to. I just wished they would consider this a special day too. AITAH?