I’ve tried everything to make peace with my mom yet she never changed. I was holding on to the highs of our relationship only for her to disappoint me once again. I won’t get into all the things she’s done to me because there’s alot. For the longest time I would internalize all her nasty comments and opinions about me because I thought that was the reality. I would only realize how wrong and mean she is when talking crap about other people: my friends, partners.. who I KNOW aren’t like that. My last straw was her belittling my angel of a bf. It made me so sad and sick and furious. It’s not even about him, she didn’t even meet him, she’s been like this with every previous bf of mine. Hates when I’m in a relationship. Hates most of my friends too. Hated when I got a job on my own. Hates when I make my own decisions. Hates me being an adult and not letting her control me like a little child. Basically dislikes me as a person. I wouldn’t care much about her thoughts since now i know she is ILL if the problem wasn’t her punishing me, threatening me, forbidding me things and just not letting me do what I want and constantly interfering. I’m 23 and don’t want to live like this. I’ve stood my ground for such a long time with many consequences(physical and constant emotional abuse). Getting a job and moving out is unfortunately so out of reach since I’m a med student. So I would rather not get advices such as “move out” when that’s impossible atm. I’d like to hear pieces of advice from ppl who HAD to live with their Nparent and how they managed to keep their sanity. I know her words are not my reality it’s just hard for me to adjust my emotions. How did you do it?
Thank you