Hello, this is my first time writing, so I’ll try my best to be specific. I also hope this post is ok to be posted here.
Before explaining; I have no contact with my father’s side of the family at all and rarely contact with my mum. Also I am 19.
Recently I started talking to a man who I lived with for a year when I was around 5-6 y/o. Before that, he was a heroin addict and been to prison. Now a few days ago I contacted him because there was a long time since we last spoke. He opened up about his life and that he is sober now. I figured since he has so much experience with substances I’d open up to.
I mentioned to him only as a part of the conversation, never any details or names, that there had been some substance abuse in my family after I moved from him and that I generally had a bad childhood. I’ll also say it straight forward, my dad is an alchoholic, my mom drinks a lot too and has taken some other drugs, my uncle od’ed one time but survived, and my grandmother (mom side) sort of has a drinking problem. Except for that it was only at my dad’s and stepmom’s house that I had a really bad childhood because of other things. I also need to mention that the substance abuse never impacted me badly directly. I just couldn’t really speak with my dad if he was sober, only when he had a few beers. My mom just partied all the time, with cocaine, had abusive boyfriend and was rarely home and available. (I did not tell the man this specific information)
The man I talked to ended up mentioning what I had said to him to my grandmother (dad’s side), because they in some way had kept in touch. She was shocked and texted me immediately asking if it’s true and saying it’s weird to say and why would I tell him that. First of all, I don’t know exactly why I would tell him that, but it was a part of the conversation.
Final question; was it and is it ok for me to tell others about my childhood and the substance abuse in my family? If so, my father and step mom told me I shouldn’t speak of what happens at home, should I respect their wish or am I allowed to speak of it? I feel weird for asking this to; is it illegal in any way?