i(F19) have really insanely intense feelings for my partner (M19)(online relationship ...he lives in my city though and its been a little over a year) and i feel extremely jealous at times and anxious when im not talking to him. he has told me that im being too suffocating and he has no freedom in our relationship (i told him not to follow girls) and other times he would act the complete opposite, he would tell me how i am everything for him and how he loves me and talks about the future all the time and getting married. but whenever we have an argument (its mostly about very stupid stuff we both acknowledge that) he says that he wants to break up and im the one who always begs him to stay. although he later says that he wouldve eventually texted me if i didnt.
i dont think he loves me because i have been very depressed (clinically diagnosed yes) and i have tried to kill myself and he says that he cant be with me because im like that and its affecting his mental health too. he asked to breakup when i was telling him how i dont feel okay rn and i wanna kms and he just said take care and left and i just had to beg him to stay and i had to deal with my feelings on my own and convince myself to not die.
how do i tone down my feelings and become detached or atleast not be bothered about stuff because i am very bothered about alot of stuff and i cant even bring it up because its always a shock to him and we get into an argument.