My husband and I have been married for 10 years and been together for closer to 12 years. I was on a solo trip to Japan and he called me and told me he has made a decision to separate with low chance of reconciliation (he’s willing to revisit it in 6 months to a year but there are no promises). Things have always been a little rocky for us due to constant arguments but when we were not arguing things were amazing in every single way- chemistry, jokes , intimacy etc. He moved to the US for work and is now saying he has finally decided he wants to separate despite us having made future plans (concert in Vegas with tickets and hotels booked) just two weeks ago. I am devastated as I knew things weren’t perfect but I always thought we can work things out. I really don’t know how to proceed and am crying all the time. I asked for reconciliation, couples therapy etc and he is refusing everything saying he needs to choose himself and his happiness. He has agreed to meet in person but will stay at a hotel and not at our home.
Please provide advise on how I should process and move on? Can I hope for a reconciliation? He is my first love and I am having a very hard time
Edit: thank you everyone for their insights and openness to share their experiences. I feel less lonely then I did few hours ago. I truly appreciate you taking time out of your day to help a stranger :)
Edit 2: we have agreed to couples counselling and I am taking individual counselling for myself as well. Thank you again everyone for your insights. I will be focusing on myself and figuring out if I can save my 10 year marriage.
Maybe I can provide an update in a few months.