u/Ancient-Height-9731

I genuinely messed up my freshman year and I’m aware it’s my fault but I need advice on what’s next.

I had to do online schooling 3/4ths of this year due to medical issues that made going into school impossible (chronic migraines we are still in the process of trying to get looked at). I personally cannot do online schooling whatsoever - the material doesn’t stick, the application I’m using sometimes just doesn’t work regardless of internet, not to mention I was done over by the school itself in getting classes finished because apparently you needed to be in a classroom on Google Classroom that I wasn’t invited to until I told off faculty in an email because of stress.

I’ve been going through burn out and depression and getting out of tough situations finally and my academics are everything to me due to the lack of things I can do for medical reasons. I just got the email that I need to attend summer school, the issue is my mother isn’t having me do it. Due to timing, vacation, and her car just broke down. Even if I still did them I would hate it, due to personal issues and harassment from the school alone.

I want maybe ideas on what next, I’ve always been ahead on the learning curve and was supposed to be moved up grades due to my GPA and how I’ve tested, so this large mess up did me back greatly. I’ve missed mostly all credits, only have some from doing higher classes in middle school. I take full responsibility, intend to stay on track next year, and since I’m finally switching schools - hopefully get proper aid that wasn’t offered before.

I’m open to any advice, opinions, or notable things for next year. I’m not particularly aiming for a scholarship but I’m intending to get back into a club that offers them.

TLDR: lead of group has a lot of control and undermines other people’s characters

Okay so this is going to be a long one and I genuinely need to know I’m not going insane. This will be a throwaway account if possible.

I am currently in a roleplay group (we use discord for communications), it’s not like DnD but we more so just act like our characters in respective areas and plan things to properly roleplay on chat. We roleplay characters form a show and ocs for said show involved, there is (of our general cast) two OP characters, this is important, and the rest somewhat ish confined by the universe’s proper rules (OP character is canon compliant in his powers it’s just to the extent it’s going that isn’t).

There are six people (including me) apart of the main group that generally “run” the group, or whose characters have the most connections to everyone defining them as important. The current issue is the Admin of the server, we’ll call them Sam. Sam is a nice dude. I'm not here to shit on them for what it’s worth but they are the issue at hand.

Sam currently plays the two OP characters of the show (technically one, same person, but universe combining so people could play doubles as it’s all mostly for fun). At first it was all fine, from December (around the time I joined) to February (the time it all went downhill). Sam on top of the two OP characters has a whole “family” line well connected with their OP characters that are immune to most of the world’s logic. It was whatever at first but now it’s gotten to a point I really dislike seeing them come online. Because often times that means most focus shifts to their characters.

The entire time from December to February (mostly as January was ending), whenever a character had an issue that needed urgent assistance (a lot of the time my characters because my main plays the helper a lot), suddenly their character would have an issue that needed urgent help and it came out of the blue. No discussion, and then the urgency from before got ignored. No one really discussed this in chat (except for me and two other people because we’re equally debating leaving), either because they didn’t see much with it or the amount of people pleasers we have is concerning.

Now the main issues got worse in February. An incident occurred, a kidnapping of the character my main had been shipped with until then (still on after too), he had been kidnapped by one of Sam’s characters. Now, what occurred to said kidnapped character was not agreed to by the person playing him. They weren’t even online when it happened. It was a sick moment and after he got saved it wasn’t brought up again. Fuck, all of Sam’s characters forgave the evil character because he was being “mind controlled” by one of the OP characters of theirs (mind you, this happened twice now for severe incidents, the first was when one OP character forced my main to relive her worst trauma just because she stood up for herself for once and confronted him).

Another incident, someone, physically won’t even touch the server because they’re the only one who’s told me they’re equally starting to be uncomfortable with Sam now. To explain, a phrase was used when a character, who was dating one of Sam’s characters (the evil one), killed himself and stated a phrase that triggered Sam that none of us knew about. No note was given but a piece of lore from the whole conversation was deleted like it never happened.

It’s also come of recent it feels like my character’s keep getting undermined or blamed, my main has been getting shit on by Evil character because she’s trying to ruin his reputation (she can’t hurt him due to weird tech, he’s basically invincible and connected to her lover now). Evil character is getting defended by all of Sam’s characters and the victim card keeps getting played like she hasn’t bled her heart out for him before either. I’m just really tired and want to kill my characters off so bad from this.

I am aware I need to get better at communication, it’s simply Sam is one of the oldest of the group and has been here the longest. Everyone mostly gets along with them. I’ve spent five months with these people and wouldn’t trade it for the world, and leaving it due to an issue I can fix would be devastating.

I’m afraid I’m overreacting because I’m aware I struggle with attention behaviors and negative thought processes, as many opinions as possibly could help. Please tell me I’m not going insane on this person’s behavior.