Feedback wanted on dark comedy/psych horror piece
I'm trying to get back into writing so I wanted to work on some short stories and this is what I came up with.
This is my second draft of the chapter but I wanted some specific input before I did a third. I'm still planning on removing and adding some things but for the most part I think this is shaping up to what I envisioned. I know I struggle with some tense and grammar issues so I plan on hammering that out on the third edit.
I'll take whatever critique you see fit, but for the most part, I'm most concerned with the characters, dialogue, and voice of the piece so far.
Is the main character likable or at least interesting to listen to?
Is the dialogue/narration funny, or is it just annoying and too much?
Are the other characters interesting enough so far?
Does it make you want to keep reading?
I appreciate any and all advice. Thanks a ton.
My Work-
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dWc\_1jr9zltkq9k4DrR4EYVYMlSbNgSO92Wf5jUK6ho/edit?usp=drivesdk