u/AnalysisWitty5602

I could really use some help.
feeling quite down about my skin. I'm 32 and I haven't been able to fully heal my pitted acne scars. When I was in college I had a terrible flare up of cystic acne and then it went away on its own. Of course I suffer from occasional breakouts but it left behind nasty crazy scarring.
I've done many treatments but it's so demoralizing that I'll never reach my full potential because of how it looks.

the treatments I've done so far over the past years:

- 1x microneedling (this had good results but it permanently enlarged my pores. they started showing up larger after I got one session done and I never did it again)

- erbium laser - this cost me $4,000 dollars. I took the advice of a PCP who knew a plastic surgeon in Manhattan and he was very confident she could help. ive had $300 facials with better results. just complete waste of money and hope.

- laser genesis - nice gentle laser but very minimal improvement in any redness pores or texture.

- lase MD - no significant results either.

- moxi laser- this is the most recent treatment I've done and was told it would "blur" the scarring. For 3 sessions @$2600 to barely see any results I feel like I'm on a prank show sometimes. The photos show my skin post 3 weeks after my second session.

the place where I'm getting moxi from said I could benefit more from getting Halo laser, but after looking into it, it's much more intense with significant downtime. I'm scared to damage my skin further at this point. every laser I've tried just doesn't seem helpful but then again ive never tried a very strong laser except erbium and don't want to waste more money.

the other thing that bothers me a lot is the perpetual redness that never ever goes away no matter what I do. Whether I fast, diet, exercise, cut out sugar dairy etc, get good sleep, use azelaic acid etc.

I have gone to a dermatologist before who wanted to give me antibiotics & vitamin B or something for the redness but I just don't believe in taking a course for a short while, messing up my gut for temporary results.

I've been using Korean skin care for a long time and that hasn't helped me either.

I seriously don't know what to do at this point and it just breaks my soul down honestly to even look in the mirror. I feel so ugly because of the texture and how it makes me look I can't even look people in the eye. Also, the texture on my chin right under my lower lip - these tiny tiny bumps I can never get rid of.