We have been dating for 3 years
I (18F) have been writing things down the past few days because I’m trying to figure out what I’m feeling (as my therapist as advised to help me understand what I’m feeling) , and I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.
My boyfriend (19M) and I recently got into an argument that started because I feel like he never really listens to me. Whether it’s on the phone or sometimes in person, I’ll be talking to him and he gives little to no response, and this isn’t new, it’s something I’ve brought up multiple times. No matter how I approach it (calmly, upset, trying to explain it clearly), nothing changes. A lot of the time he just deflects, gives a half ass apology for the argument to be over, or points out something I do wrong instead.
What makes it harder is how he talks to me. He can be really dismissive and sometimes talks to me like I’m a child, which makes me feel crazy for even bringing up my feelings. I end up getting so frustrated that I cry almost every time we have a serious conversation, and hang up the phone or just completely shut down because I feel like I’m not being heard and somehow everything gets turned back on me.
At this point I feel like I’ve given so much emotionally, and I’m not getting the same effort back. It’s starting to build up into really heavy feelings. After we talk, I just sit there and cry and feel completely alone.
I think what scares me is that I can’t tell if this is something that can be worked through, or if I’m trying to hold onto something that just isn’t healthy for me anymore.
For people who’ve been in similar situations:
How did you know when it was time to walk away?
Is this something that can realistically change, or is this a pattern that usually doesn’t?
How do you tell if you’re being “too emotional” vs. actually not being treated right?
I’d really appreciate honest perspectives.
TL;DR- I feel like my boyfriend doesn’t listen to me, dismisses my feelings, and turns things back on me when I bring issues up. I’ve tried multiple times to communicate and nothing changes. I’m emotionally drained and don’t know if this is fixable or if it’s time to leave.