Re-Living a Break Up
Crazy to think it’s been close to 44 years but here we are, reliving the events like it was yesterday.
I’m experiencing something that is very strange to me, really no reason for it, but it hit like a ton of bricks. Im a good 6 months into it now. Ive written and deleted a post like this a dozen times. Can’t tell any one, can’t do anything about it. Only thoughts trapped in my mind.
Im aware of that I miss the feeling, the days gone by, the missed opportunities. But still, “Here we are”.
She was the right person at the wrong time under the wrong circumstances. How we met, the time we shared and her leaving are each a story of its own.
I remember everything, how we met, circumstance, date & time she left, I mean everything.
There was nothing wrong with us, very compatible. A stupid decision created a distance between us that we just couldn’t recover from. The day she left was devastating, we spent the entire weekend together, stayed awake all night in a local park until her ride came that morning.
Communication wasn’t like today, snail mail and a pay phone with rolls of dimes. We tried, but writing a letter to tell a person to meet at a certain pay phone & time, just didn't work out.
We eventually lost contact and moved on, wasn’t the traditional break up, just kinda went away. Never forgot about her, I wrote letters for several years later, most returned to sender, wrong address etc.
I honestly never knew what became of her. Internet comes along and she wasn’t searchable, common name, etc. I have no pictures, letters or proof it ever happened. I had rolls and rolls of pictures that I foolishly got rid of. I would pay, dearly for even a blurry snapshot at this point.
In my mid 60’s now and some life’s triggers brought it all back. It’s like it happened yesterday, all the stages came back, it was really bizarre.
I think Im at the Anger & Acceptance stage now. But it goes back and forth, so would take much to start this cycle all over again.