Hello, everyone, I am a 21(F). I feel like I’m going through a life crisis right now with my love life. I’m dating a 29(M). We have been together for 1 year already. I love my bf, he’s an amazing guy, he’s kind to me and the people around us. But recently, I’ve been feeling empty. I don’t know how to make this sounds sane, but I feel empty in love with him, if it makes sense. I know that he’s a great guy, with a good relationship with his family and friends, everyone likes him. But deep inside my heart, I feel very empty in love with him. And I don’t know why, I feel like everyday with him is so mundane, ordinary, and my heart doesn’t skip a beat when he’s around me or when he’s kissing me. I don’t feel the spark or the fire that my friends or people keep talking about. And as days passed by, I grew increasingly frustrated and awful about it, I feel like I’m an awful person for not feeling excited or completely happy when I’m around him or when he’s touching me. And these thoughts made me reflect on our beginning. When we started getting to know one another, he was so sure about me, he said he approached me with a certain intention of marrying me, he said he loved me just after one month, and I still remember, in that moment, I just said I love you back, knowing full well, I didn’t feel the same way yet, but I kept telling myself that I would eventually love him, because nth beats close distance and time, the longer you stay close to them, you’d eventually love them right ? And everything just blur together from then on, we started dating and I no longer think about it, until some nights. But these days, I feel so empty in love with him, and I found myself having bad thoughts of yearning for a love that is slow, steady, one where you can get to know one another for months or even years, slowly before you get together, yearning for a love that ignites something in me, and how I don’t want to just settle down with someone that my heart doesn’t ignite for.
I am so lost right now, I don’t have anyone to console all of these with. I’m not close with my family or have any friends close enough to share these with. So, to the strangers who’s reading this, and has been through similar things or just know what to do, please let me know. I welcome all types of comments and perspectives.