Help Required | Frustrated
Hey Everyone,
I (M28) well settled in a good city working for home and working in IT with a decent salary making me in top layer tax regime.
I got a arrenge marriage request from my mother side uncle. He is kind of playing as a middle man in the setup
Now the girl is a working women in govt and she has a decent salary and her family is also good
Now both parties are middle class
Her parents had paid visit to me directly in my office first, as they were living in a different city and my base location is in that city so i was going there one day just to attend a meeting and my uncle that middle man told my parents that girl's parents want to first see me before coming to my house and meet my family as we live 2 hrs far in a different district
So when i met her father mother and one othe uncle, her father first click my pictures without asking me and its not good according to me [ i want to ask you guys is that happens to other guys also and what have you done ]
Now after they met me in the office they want to visit my house as they got interested after meeting me in my office
So 2-3 days after that the girl side 5 people came to our house just to see my house and where i live and to know more about my family
All things were good after 2 hours they finally invitated us at their home to see the girl and we said we will plan and let uh guys know in few days
Note : till now neither me nor my family have seen the girl in real...only photos
Now till here there was no talk about the finance and anything. the middle man haven't mentioned anything. Personally what my parents has told to that middle guy initially that we don't have any ask for money if we like the girl we will get married and nothing would be demand both parties will do whatever they want there is no such ask of amount an anything.
But still that middle guy asked us privately that what's your budget like how much money will you add to the table and we said that recently we had our sister got married in 30 lacs so we will be putting 30 to 35 lacs in marriage.
Now this he by chance he communicated to the girls parents that they r going to put 30 lacs and he didn't asked them what they will be putting. Like he was going to in coming days but he wanted first to let us see the girl
This happen next day
Now the girl father just passed a message to a guy in our city who is a bit famous in our community that we are demanding some money and he has a budget of 15 lacs
And now my parents are getting calls from family and friends that why you r asking such thing and that girl is good get married
And now my parents said that we are not asking anything we r putting 30 lacs out and haven't seen the girl
Now this im not liking as me and my family don't believe in the dowry and for my sisters also we haven't paid anything so we don't need anything
Now people are judging us that we are asking money
Soo i need help how to process this and should i get involved and talk to that famous guy directly
And also im thinking that now not to get married in such family and ask her father to delete those photos which he click without any permission.
Im also thinking to talked to her dad man to man like thats the problem why you guys are framing us and we haven't done anything and delete those photos as im not going to marry her daughter now bcz they are not the people we want to get in business.