Calling my daughters “the twins”. Talk me off a ledge here
My husband and I decided early on we would not refer to our identical twin daughters as “the twins”. They have always been the babies, the girls, or called by their name. I am (probably overly) sensitive to the fact that since they’re identical twins this will be a huge part of their identity that they didn’t ask for. I know most twins are thrilled to be a twin but I’m not going to reinforce that as the main part of who they are, especially within our nuclear family. I’m not going to always group them together and refer to them as “the twins”. They are their own person and I am going to foster that as much as I can. Again, I might be overly sensitive to this but I don’t want to pile onto them being the “same” as they outwardly appear and will get from society/peers.
Here’s where I’m going crazy - my MIL constantly calls them “the twins”. I asked my husband to connect with her about several times and he said he did. Tbh it’s not surprising as she lacks self/situational awareness and would not pick up on the fact that we never call them that. Nor do other members of my family. She also is the type of personality who sees them as a novelty and will tell anyone/everyone that she has identical twin granddaughters. I literally forget they’re twins sometimes just because they’re my two babies!! I just had them at the same time! I will literally tell people “I have two 10 month old daughters” and then I realize how weird that sounds so I follow up with “oh yea they’re twins”.
Anyway, I’m about to say something over text and ask her to not call them that but I’ll check-in with my husband first (and validate their discussion about it). Can anyone relate or provide advice for me to chill out?? I understand there are FAR bigger fish to fry, especially in today’s world. It’s just something that continually grinds my gears.