Whenever my boyfriend (35 M) and I (28 F) get into an argument, he has to remind me that most of the stuff we have in the house is his, and tells me I can't use it. Am I wrong to be upset at this?
So for a little more context of why were arguing... My mom is terminal. And my best friend just died two weeks ago. I've been very depressed and in heavy grief. My libido is gone, but a couple times I sucked it up and had sx with him to fulfill his needs. I'm not very talkative lately or cuddly. I'm depressed and confused and angry why my best friend just died suddenly and at a young age.
I still clean and cook, but I don't want to have sx every day like he does. He hasn't outrightade me feel bad for it, but his attitude gets worse if I am not pleasing him every time he needs it.
He keeps asking me what's wrong... And I keep having to remind him that I'm grieving. I'm depressed because of the losses. I also miscarried a few months ago, it was early but it still hurts.
Anyway, he gets upset with me for being depressed in general. And keeps acting like it's about him and I'm just always in a bad mood and must not care about him anymore. I keep reexplaining the grief.
I often don't feel comfortable using his stuff, which he own the TV, the laptop, bed, couch... Most stuff. I had to leave a lot of my furniture behind when we moved in together because of moving costs.
So when we argue, even if it's minor and over something stupid, he keeps reminding me that everything is his. And also tells me to stop using his stuff.
Then when things are fine and I sit on my phone and doom scroll cause I have nothing to do, hes confused why I don't wanna use the TV or laptop.
Sometimes I do go for walks, but it's hot out and idk I just don't wanna sit outside all day.
And yes I would like to buy my own stuff, but right now I'm saving up because we need to move again.
Is it kind of messed up that he throws it in my face? Iean he has the right I guess... But this man will also say he wants to marry me and that what's his is mine. So it just gets conflicting.
Any advice is appreciated, and I'll answer whatever questions to paint a clearer picture. I'm just lost and depressed and the man that's supposed to love me doesn't make me feel emotionally safe. Hell, I can't even express concerns without him getting defensive and flipping it around on me.
It's exhausting. I know I'm not perfect, but a little room to grieve would be nice I think.
TL;DR is it ok for my bf, whom I live with, to guilt trip me about using his stuff when we argue?