Unsure
Things have never been this bad for this long. I’m so scared what the next few months might hold. I’m afraid of how we end up, and I have so many things I want to say or talk about but can’t. I’ve learned over the years it’s much easier to remain silent than to bring them up. But it builds. In the back of my mind. Creating doubt and worry and panic. I’ve never loved someone so much, but I have so many moments where I think to myself how much easier this would be if we just called it what it is and parted ways. Not because I want to, but because we both deserve a kind love, a quiet love, one that doesn’t yell or anger easily. Maybe that’s my curse. Living in the constant in between of I want it to stop and I can’t give you up. I’ve never felt so heavy with pain and questions before. This is different and I hate it.