u/AlwaysGrowBeets

I guess I’m looking for some support, validation for my feelings and to understand whether what I’m feeling is an overreaction or not. My partner and I have been married for 3 years and we have an almost one year old daughter. I’m still breastfeeding and in the process of weaning (I add this note to provide more context on how tried I am). My partner is very supportive and helps as much as he can. I don’t have much to complain however when it comes to celebrating important things he tends to drop the ball most of the time. For example birthdays and anniversaries are always celebrated at a later date after I have expressed how sad I felt that they weren’t celebrated on the day. Generally after much crying and discussion he’ll say “you’re right I should have done this.. or that.. I’ll remember next time or I’ll try to be better. But no surprise the same disappointment repeats almost every year. It’s frustrating and I feel like I’m with someone who doesn’t understand that those small celebrations are important to me. I’m not asking for much - a card, some flowers and meal. Honestly it doesn’t take a lot of effort.

Last year I was pregnant on Mother’s Day and I felt so heartbroken that he bought flowers for his mother, my mother, her sister and her in laws but not for me. At the end of the night I told him in tears that it really affected me because I was carrying our child and even though she wasn’t born yet I felt like a mom and didn’t get any acknowledgment from him. He said he was sorry and that he didn’t think I was technically a mother yet so we will celebrate next year. Okay fine I accepted it. Now this year was my first Mother’s Day. Unfortunately it we were also invited to his aunts 60th birthday celebration which we had to attend later in the day. The morning of Mother’s Day he didn’t wish me, or get me any flowers (he also didn’t get his mom or in laws any flowers this year) and did absolutely nothing. We had breakfast with our families for Mother’s Day (something we do every year) which is arranged by one of the ladies in the family, then went to his aunts birthday party and came home to put our baby to bed. I felt so hurt and sad. I went to bed with tears. He heard me crying and asked what’s wrong but I said I didn’t want to talk about it and just want to be left alone so I don’t say anything I regret later. I don’t know if I’m doing something wrong here by feeling this disappointment or is this something I should just expect from men in general because women apparently are so complicated to understand (sarcasm). Am I overthinking and overreacting here? What should I do?