u/Alvadar65

I am probably just stressed out at the moment from some stuff, but I wanted to ask other people.

Recently I had a big career change. I went from office work, computer programming and digital art and traditional art on the side. To working outdoors in conservation and some ranger/forestry work.

It doesnt pay as well, but I really enjoy working outside even in all the elements that get thrown at you in the UK. I take pride in the work I do, I have qualifications in environmental sciences, land management and conservation now and recently got qualifications for chainsaw use, tree felling, brush cutters and so on. I am getting to the point that I am properly working in the industry and I am really proud of not only the work I do but how hard I work doing it. It can be quite taxing on my body at times being in my early 30s now, but its worth it and I do what I can to take care of my body after.

I have a friend who works in a high management office job that pays quite well but is also very passionate about the outdoors. Recently they have been doing some work to make their garden look nicer by cutting back some of the grass, planting some wildflowers and most recently they removed a horrid small bush from the corner of their garden.

They messaged me about all this saying that they are doing "my kind of hard work" now. Equating what I do to some light gardening and removing a bush. Its not the first comment they have made on it, but its always very subtle.

I dont feel like I cant say anything, that they make me feel like the work I am proud of is less than it is even after I have tried to illustrate it a bit better for them. They are a very strong feminist and I dont want to come across as some toxic dick that is trying to be all macho about the work I do because I am a guy and she is a woman. It has nothing to do with gender for me and everything to do with taking pride in how hard I work. Granted not every day I do is hauling logs, digging out fence posts and the like but it is also more than some light gardening and bush removal. I feel like I want to say something but I also feel like its pathetic to actually say anything and it has such a possibility to be taken the wrong way.

Basically I dunno if I am being a dick and letting my pride get the better of me or that I am being a bit of a toxic dude without realizing it, but it does get to me. I value what I do and I want the people I care about to value it too, but this makes me feel like they dont.

Obviously I havent said anything back in retort to any of this and I probably wont, I just want to get it straight in my own head because no matter how much I try to put it out of my head it keeps swirling back.