I don’t know if I’m overreacting or not, or if this even qualifies as abuse, but I just need to vent and maybe get some outside perspective.
Basically, my family has never really supported me doing music, and I don’t fully understand why. They’re very traditional, but there’s nothing about their beliefs that would explain this level of resistance.
When I was a teenager, I was even sent to a residential treatment program where part of my “treatment” was being publicly shamed for wanting to be a songwriter and being forced to turn in all the songs I’d ever written so they could be thrown away.
The thing is, I didn’t quit. I’m 30 now, and I’ve spent years improving, writing, producing, taking vocal lessons, investing my own money, and actually getting to a point where I’m proud of my work. I’ve been accepted into multiple professional choirs, including auditioning for renowned directors in NYC and Finland (where I live now), performed with a professional orchestra, and recently I submitted music I’ve written and was accepted to be a songwriter for Eurovision 2027, which is a massive milestone.
Every time I share news about my music with my family, I get complete radio silence. No “congrats,” no reaction, no thumbs up…no acknowledgment at all. I even released a full album a couple of years ago and the only feedback I got was that they wanted to “talk about it later on the family vacation”which never really happened until my brother told me I sing off key on the album. Which isn’t true first of all. And if you’re wondering if maybe I just can’t hear it, I’ve auditioned and sent my music in to multiple actual professionals and gotten in. Those pros have no reason to pity accept me to work with them if I can’t sing when they have standards and reputations to uphold.
Meanwhile, I hear them openly praising my siblings for their careers and achievements all the time.
It’s not like they’re incapable of showing pride they just don’t seem to do it with me. My sister got a high school graduation party. I didn’t, for example.
I guess what I’m struggling with is: I’ve put in so much work, and I’ve actually reached some real milestones, but it still feels like none of it counts to them.
And I don’t understand why. I genuinely cannot understand why.
Has anyone else dealt with something like this?