I finished writing a 63,900 word memoir, I made a few mistakes some would say on this platform which I would agree with however I've been silent for 26 years of my almost 31 years of life. I went forward without asking for beta readers because people I was querying I before they responded knew would deny my voice like it has been denied all of my life, or ignored my whole life whilst calling me at 7 years old a "mass murderer".
I went forward and hit publish on KDP. It is being reviewed and since bezos username in 07 was "treelessamazonman" I have a feeling it will be denied publishing. It is sloppy it is droll it is absolutely horrific this memoir as has been my life.
I have no friends and my family has been nothing to me but Stockholm syndrome kidnappers so I didn't ask them to read.
I am asking here now as a discussion. Even though it is up for review before publishing I think I should have edited it and asked a human not Claude for it's opinion on whether or not I will be sued for my manuscript.
Would anyone here beta read it and recommend if I should contact a co-writer or developmental editor before the grave mistake or finally being able to scream my pain - of "approved and published" appears on KDP.
I said to my self all night last night -"be real, this is trauma and a trauma memoir, no one will ever publish it and you will be sued by big names while having not a penny to hire a fucking lawyer, the world will call your pain paranoia and disaster just as they did when they made you 'read repeat and remember' the usernames they were chatting it up with in 1999 and a kalishnikov against you. Just stay quiet and perish quiet"
This part of me I cast down later and said no more I must scream.
Now I don't know if what I placed for publishing is a grave mistake or something that will finally have my voice heard understood and even if hated still, still at the very least the anger understood. Is this the right platform to make friends and discuss before it finishes undergoing review? I really have no one. My friends in college chosen and with old usernames from 1999 and my first ex predestined and abusive as well. I'm kind of empty on energy and had to discuss this somewhere and hope fingers crossed someone other than an ai will read my manuscript and warn me of inbound lawsuits and more pain on top of the 26 years of pain I have suffered in my almost 31 years of life.