u/Altruistic_Star_1994

I had the worst stomach pains in my life that I genuinely thought were going to take me out. It was an infection. Thankfully I survived and was discharged from hospital and have never had that kind of pain or dread ever again. Personally though, knowing I could have very well died if something wasn't done quickly, I was never the same after this experience. I changed without even knowing it.

I realised i am now more open in discussions, more forthcoming with my feelings, more immune to rejection, I take a lot more risks especially with women and if I fail it really doesn't stick. I am now less stingy with my money coz I know it ain't shit when I am in pain fighting for your life or just lying in a coffin. And if I have to enjoy those little moments like listening to awesome music or just appreciating the taste of great food...I enjoy them a way more than before. Generally I just have become more grateful and mindful about how lucky I am to be alive and healthy again.

That's what a "second chance at life" did for me. What did it do for you?

I was just listening to the UFC fighter Trevor Gorimbo about how Zimbabweans celebrated when he was knocked out at UFC and because of it he has cut all ties from his family and home nation. It pretty sad and it got me thinking too. Many people complain about "Black Tax", "Crab Syndrome" a lot in here and just plain being hated on even by their relatives if they become exceptional. And the evidence is there too on social media, you see how people react when it's negative news about a fellow Zimbabwean on ZimCelebs. The comment section seems to gloat more about the downfall of a Zimbabwean celeb than they do when someone from another nation fails. The comment section is kinda passive when it's good news. Being a small businessman, I personally have been a target as well. it's ironic.

So you wonder kuti is the poverty, ruin, humiliation & embarrassment this nation has had to endure over the years made us secretly hate ourselves? You know be ashamed of even being Zimbabwean...And then in turn, make us hate each other via a psychological phenomenon known as *projection."

I know this is deep psychological shit and a hard theory to process, but hear me out I may be on to something here...

What do you think guys?

I have this uncle of mine who didn't go to the funeral of the only remaining sister of his wife because "he is protecting the homestead while everyone is away."

People often tells us singles that we don't understand marriage dynamics but ini hangu I secretly disapprove of such behavior. It's your wife's sister for crying out loud! Even if you hated her, just attend the funeral out of the love you have for your wife.

But handina kuroora Saka hapana zvandati ndakuziva I guess...

I have listening to this interesting podcast with Shadhaya and these passionate feminist going back & forth. They were arguing about how "men oppress and segregate single mothers." And I was thinking with my recent experience in like finding a wife as a childless bachelor, One of the most common advice I am getting on my journey of finding a wife is "Don't ever go for a single mother. (Usaroore mvana. Hatidi muroora anevana vake. Bhora haritanhge riripa2-0 they say😂) They say all kinds of demeaning judgemental things towards single mothers.

But here is where it gets interesting... Most people who are give me this advice are other women. Particularly the elderly women... momz, anetete, anamainini, maiguru, anambuya etc While the male side of my family is pretty laid back they give me warnings but they don't insult single mothers in general. Madzimai are so brutal, insensitive and blant. Even vanhu vasirihama dzangu, Gogo vangu vakamboti when I jokingly asked about the issue, she replied to me"koiwe unoda kubhadhara school fees uchingopinda mumba wadiii?" And momz nanatetez just straight up say we will never accept a daughter in law with children. No sugar coating. So blant, unapologetic and final.

I have found girls I liked who happen to have children but because of course hama dzangu dzechikadzi dzagara dzakabuda pachena so I have to painfully let those feelings die a natural death. In general society it is common. Vamwene if she does not like her daughter in law, she will actively try to destroy the relationship while the father in law is just laid back. Remember ZvekwaMai Azuka zviya zviya chaizvo. That's more common than feminists are comfortable to admit.

It goes back to that podcast with Shadhaya, were they are like "men like you are the ones that hate single mothers the most." However in my experience I beg to differ other women are the ones that hate single mothers the most.

What you think?