Hallmark BPD texts/response? No
New to this thread and coming to terms with my bf (who I live with)’s likely BPD. I have so much more I want to share for validation, I think it will help me process and take the steps I need to to get out for my own safety. But in the meantime, here’s a current example. Thoughts?
I’m sure it goes without saying, but there is a year-long pattern of explosive reactions to not getting his way in a minor disagreement. No boundaries. No way to make it better no matter what I do. And specifically, I could spend three hours figuring out the most compromising, perfect way to lead repair after an argument and it will be collapsed into ironic allegations of abuse. These texts are a rare instance of me calling it out and refusing to engage (Kevin is our couples therapist). And these texts are actually a weak example of what I consider to be BPD traits. He often escalates hours and days after I’ve disengaged and I can’t do it anymore. I’ve put my life on hold for a year spending all my time putting out fires here and it’s amounted to nothing and I’ve received no support for my own needs. I woke to the house shaking as he did god knows what. It’s already gotten physical three times and I had to fight to get away from the other day because I threatened to call the cops over his unhinged behavior and he wanted me to “take it back” because he’s the victim of me threatening to get him in trouble, nevermind the fact that threatening to call the cops is my only emergency break. I’m 95 pounds and disabled and can’t believe I had to physically escape his grasp. My body hurt for days. Then he forced me to agree I assaulted him or he’d break up with me, which would be like the tenth breakup threat in one month. Apart from the harm to my own wellbeing I’m scared for his own safety if we split up, especially knowing there is a high suicide rate among ppwBPD. He was just about to start therapy which makes this extra hard. I keep wanting to hold out hope til it hopefully becomes more stabilized but then comes another week of absolutely abuse and insanity and I can’t do this anymore. I need to sleep and tend to what’s on my own plate and getting myself to a better place. This is the response u get from him literally no matter what I do and I’m sure I don’t have to say it, but the things he’s saying aren’t true (such as that I didn’t apologize.) I generally stick around in the interaction so much longer than I should and let him go off for a while before choosing to disengage or taking the bait and draining myself completely.