I (early 20s F) have been on two dates with a guy (mid 20s M) and I’m trying to figure out if I’m overthinking or if something is actually off.
We’d been messaging for a couple of months while he was travelling (time difference, patchy WiFi etc), and he stayed pretty consistent. When he got back, he asked me out but I was seeing someone at the time, so I said no. Then about a month later he reached out again to see if I was still seeing that person — I wasn’t — so we went on a date.
First date was really nice. Nothing crazy intense emotionally for me at that point, but we got along well, he paid for things, we didn’t want to leave each other etc. He texted after saying he had a great time and suggested a second date.
Between the first and second date, he was texting me maybe once or twice a day — not loads, but consistent. He mentioned doing something (going for steak), said he’d plan it, but didn’t properly confirm until quite last minute, which did stress me out a bit.
Second date: again really nice. He’d made a reservation, paid, we had a good time. We ended up kissing a lot and it felt very intimate (not just physical, more slow and connected than I’m used to). He was also quite open — said he has a tendency to get into things quickly and is trying to be more thoughtful about his actions and how they affect people. He also admitted he’d been a bit “distant” during the week because he’d been in his head.
He said multiple times he had a really nice time, found me attractive, etc. But… he didn’t explicitly say “I want to see you again,” and hasn’t mentioned a third date since.
I think what’s confusing me is:
His actions on the date felt very into me (affection, effort, etc)
But his communication around it feels a bit inconsistent / unclear
And him saying he’d been “distant” because of his thoughts makes me wonder if he’s pulling back already
I’m also aware I might be projecting because I had a past situation where a guy seemed really into me and then suddenly said something was “missing,” so now I’m a bit on edge.
So I guess my questions are:
Does this sound like a guy who’s genuinely interested but just a bit in his head?
Or does it sound like someone who’s already starting to pull away?
Is it a red flag that he didn’t explicitly say he wants to see me again after date 2?
Trying not to overthink but also don’t want to ignore signs if they’re there.
Any perspectives appreciated!