I have been SHing for about 5 years on and off . In the beginning, i always felt like i had to stop doing it , and activly tried stopping a few times, but each time, i kept relapsing. Now i dont see the point in stopping anymore. I think i have rationalised it by saying its not that bad bcs i never go deep enough for it to comprise my health. Or maybe im just addicted and dont want to admit it .
The part about this all that annoys me the most is the reason i keep doing it , scars.... A lot off the times when i see my own scars i think they are not visible enough not big enough not 'good' enough. Even if i were to have the scars i so called desired i think it still wouldnt be enough and maybe deep down i know its about more than that but i dont really know. I kinda feel like an imposter when it comes to SH in a way to bcs it feels like my reasoning isnt valid enough. It did start out purely for a sense off relieve but now i dont know anymore