Me and my Bf broke up a few days ago and it was messy, I don’t even know if it’s even classed as a break up but it is for me I’m so done as much as it hurts to say that.
Our relationship was never smooth sailing but I always thought every relationship has their ups and downs but I don’t think any of this behaviour was normal. Just going to bullet point a few things he’s done to me in our 2/3 year relationship
• found him texting another woman and when I questioned him he said it was just a friend and he will stop - months later I found text/tiktoks between the two again. (I made him delete her off everything when I found these again) • created arguments whilst I was healing from a surgery • would give me silent treatment after I did something “he didn’t like” • told me he doesn’t want me if I had slept with other men prior to him • always made misogynistic comments • didn’t ever add me on his social media lol • was grieving after my grand mother passed away and decided to ignore my message and “give me space” when I told him prior I didn’t not want space • doesn’t want me to wear “revealing clothes” I never wear revealing clothes btw he didn’t even like when I wore shorts to workout in • couldn’t deny him sex because I was “using it against him” • was distant with me the week leading up to my birthday and then on my birthday got mad I didn’t text him back when I was out celebrating with my girl friends • took me on “holiday” for my bday and used it against me the whole time, he got angry at me over sex on holiday and he shouted and screamed and threw things around the room which scared me (at this point i genuinely thought he would of hit me) • he finds a problem in every little thing I did which lead me constantly on egg shells 24/7 (for example on holiday I took my necklace he bought me off and left it in the bathroom just so I didn’t forget it and he somehow made this into a problem and said “he’s never going to buy me anything nice again” • used the relationship against me and said “it was me who wanted it” • told me if we broke up all he’d do is sleep around with other women • every argument ended up in me apologising even if it was me that had a problem with his behaviour
There’s so much more that had happened I wish I could explain but I think my mind plays tricks on me and tried to rationalise all this behaviour when I know I should. Bottom line in he was never like this when we first got together it a year and a half ish into our relationship. I was constantly on egg shells around him and felt like I was always doing something wrong.
I feel stupid for the fact I even allowed myself to deal with this behaviour and the way we “broke up” was even so messy lol. I decided to not respond to one of his messages after he decided to create a problem out of something soo small, I only decided not to respond at the time because I knew it would lead to an argument because I was so fed up for apologising for things I shouldn’t be apologising for. However the same night he rang me 4 times and told me to come outside and when I did go outside to meet him he said he’s not here to sort it out and he wants the gifts that he bought me, when I told him no but I will give them to him another day or mail them to him. He decided to keep me “hostage” in his car and not let me out until I agreed, he was driving around without stopping for a 40 minutes ish and in that time I also told him if he doesn’t stop I will jump out of the car which I was considering because I just wanted to go home and sleep because I had work tomorrow. In the end I decided to give the gifts back he dropped me home I went inside and grabbed the stuff and came back downstairs and he had already gone. Have not spoke to him since this day and he has not messaged me either.
I know this is so silly but I am still so upset about this whole ordeal, years of relationship and me always trying to make things right it ended like this. I was never a horrible person to him I wouldn’t say I’m perfect no one really is but the way he paints me out to be is making me really question my own character.
Anyone else go through a similar thing and how did healing look for you? Ever since the last contact I had with him, I have felt a wave of emotions, sad, happy? Relieved, nothing, missing him then being relieved again. Just want the process to speed up and to feel fine again.