okay i really need outside perspective because i feel like i’m going insane trying to figure out if i did something wrong.
for context, i’m the eldest daughter, i’m in my freshman year of college, and finals are literally next week. this week is already horrible because all my final projects, assignments, and presentations are due. i’ve been super stressed but im not sure my mom knows that as i didn’t mention it, she does know that finals are next week though.
on saturday, my parents had a really bad argument, like one where divorce was brought up (it won’t happen). my mom called me and we stayed on the phone for like 2.5 hours while she was venting about everything. i listened the whole time, but after we hung up i was completely drained and ended up having a full breakdown and crying because i felt so useless and i couldn’t do anything as im very far away. i had a group meeting after on one of our final projects so i had to pull myself together but i didn’t have time to study for any of my exams that night (which originally planned to) because i was so overwhelmed and tired.
fast forward to today (monday). i had a presentation, so since the moment i woke up i was just preparing for it, then i left, had class, and was basically running around all day. i didn’t check my phone much at all. i did facetime my sister as i was walking to my class both before my first class and before my second.
before that time, my mom sent me a bunch of voice messages ranting from 5 am my time to 10 am my time (we have a big time difference). i didn’t listen to them because i literally didn’t was 1. preparing for my presentation 2. in public and wouldn’t be able to answer properly and i didn’t realize how many she had sent. at one point, i facetimed my sister between, and i think my mom saw that and assumed i was ignoring her.
then i open my phone after class and i see all of this from her:
“*my name*”
“delete all the voice messages i sent”
“don’t listen to anything from me”
“i swear to god delete everything”
“don’t even open them or listen”
“if i could i would’ve deleted them myself” (because the time allowed to delete them from both sides already passed in the app)
then
“that’s it”
“i don’t like to complain or talk to anyone about anything that happens with me”
“my whole life i don’t like talking about my problems or complaining, especially to you kids”
“i don’t want to talk to you about this kind of stuff”
“just delete them and that’s it”
“you shouldn’t be involved in adult problems”
“this is the last time i write”
“good luck”
which honestly confused me
i replied immediately being really confused and explaining that i wasn’t ignoring her, that i had a presentation and classes all day and didn’t even see the messages until now.
but only my confusion message went through because i said i have my presentation and she said all that stuff then good luck so my explanation text didn’t even go through because she turned her phone off.
now i’m just sitting here feeling awful. i’m in a study area with a lot of people and had to get up to go to the side because i was tearing up. like i’m trying to be a good daughter, i listened to her, i didn’t ignore her on purpose, and i’m already stressed out of my mind with finals. and somehow i still feel like i’m the one in the wrong.
i also feel like she’s upset because she might’ve seen me facetiming my sister while her messages were still unopened, so she probably thinks i chose to talk to my sister instead of her, which isn’t true at all.
i don’t know. this just feels really unfair to me. i’m already dealing with so much and now i feel guilty on top of it.
am i wrong here? or is this just… too much to put on me? am i overreacting? i understand her perspective but i sat down for the first time to study since the weekend and just like that i cant anymore.