My sibling is getting married. I have been no-contact with my parents for years. (Reasons to follow below) The betrothed sibling has been low-contact with them.
When the engagement happened, I was clear and sincere in explaining to the couple that if my sibling wants to invite our parents, I understand, I would not be offended, but I would not attend. I suggested I attend other wedding-adjacent events instead. I understand that someone would want their parents at their wedding.
I endured many years of physical, emotional, and financial abuse at the hands of my mother. I've been diagnosed with C-PTSD. My mother was the abuser, my father was the assistant and always did what she said. He is also a victim. I moved out when I was 16 and cut off contact. What i lived through was quite extreme. My bedroom had a lock on the outside and I was locked in whenever I was home. Which was all the time, because i wasn't allowed out with friends. I could only go to school and come home. If i was 5 minutes late getting home after school, it was a big problem. I would be dragged around by my hair and beaten regularly. I was scared to be at home. Children's Aid was involved a few times.
About 5 years ago, during an extremely difficult point in my life, I has no choice but to move back in with them. Almost immediately the emotional abuse started up again. The control. It ended when my mother physically assaulted my son. We left that day for a shelter and never went back. Since then, they have showed up at my son's school and activities multiple times. I've called the police every time who have now formally informed my parents that any further contact will be considered criminal harassment.
My sibling asked me again what it would take to set aside these issues and how they can help. I slept on it and said nothing can be done. I have zero desire to ever see them again. I wouldn't be able to relax and enjoy myself anyways.
Am I The Asshole for refusing to be in the same room as my parents for one, important day?
EDIT: It's only been 20 minutes and the verdict is clear. My decision feels validated now based on the responses. I was really feeling like I was the unreasonable one for not just giving in for one day. Thank you.
Also, in defense of my sibling, the reason they are low-contact with our parents is in support of me. After the last major incident, my sibling called my parents to ask wtf and they then defended their choices. Sibling told them to lose their number.