u/Alternative-Load2949

I F21 am having a hard time figuring out wtf I wanna do w/ myself. I’ve attempted community college twice already (and really really tried) and I’m starting to think that college isn’t right for me at the very least right now where I’m at in my life. I have such a disdain towards the way we are forced to live life and our systems that we’re expected to follow or else we’re “losers”. It’s seriously so aggravating and idk what to do with myself because the stuff I am many others have knowledge on it makes it so hard to not just completely rebel against everything. I’m genuinely holding on by a thread (not in a self death way iykwim) I still live with my mom and I know I’m still young and have plenty of time to figure this out. Just hate the feeling of being completely directionless. Also I work basically full time at a gas station (around 75-78 hrs on my biweekly paychecks). I’d love to move out sooner rather than later with my bf of 3 years to kind of start our own life together. I’m also so sick and fucking tired of being so infantilized just because I still live at my moms. Idk any ideas or words of encouragement or ppl who’ve been in the same situation plz tap in because holy shit I feel like I’m going cray asfk😭