u/Alternative-Hyena251

I don’t know why typing it out to a bunch of strangers is easier for me than talking to my therapist. I hope that maybe someone can relate and feel less alone though about it, maybe. If anyone has any ideas or advice on how to approach this irl, then I’d be happy to hear it.

I don’t want to go into too much detail, but due to some medication changes, these past few weeks my libido has been through the roof. It feels like it’s nagging me. I’ve also felt more affectionate in general, too.

I’ve also confessed a couple weeks ago to a girl who I’ve been friends with for a few years, and she reciprocated. We aren’t being too serious with it right now, but we both want to get more serious later. I’ve had feelings for her for quite a while, mostly romantic. Due to the medicine changes, though, I’ve felt a lot more sexual feelings.

Every time she compliments me I get turned on by it, I’ve never felt this way before, and it’s humiliating for me, I feel so ashamed for feeling that way for something nonsexual. I’ve never fantasized about real life people, but when “taking care of business”, she started appearing in my mind and I mwas trying really hard not to let that happen. Then she made some suggestive jokes and I was scared to make them back because then she might feel like I only want her for sex or something, and that I’m some weird horny guy that misinterprets everything As sexual. The following night I had a wet dream about her and I’ve kept having them since.

Because of these thoughts and my persistent libido I’ve been hyperaware of how i talk with her. I feel so scared of coming off as clingy or creepy or anything like that. I know that feeling attracted to people is normal but I feel so bad about it anyway. I keep fantasizing about her and I’m scared that I’m objectifying her in my brain. I’ve had issues with sexual harrassment myself, and I don’t want her to have to feel that.

I feel like my lust is painfully isolating, the friend group has talked about this kind of stuff before but since she’s in it, I feel wrong talking about it with them. The few friends I have outside of the group I don’t talk with all that often but they say that she wants the D, so there’s that, but even if she did I’m still scared of bringing it up, or bringing it up and being too explicit. I feel so scared about talking about the main thing going on in my mind to the point where I’m scared im coming off as cold to her, I’ve been more silent and stuff.

I don’t even want to talk to my therapist about it despite having worked with them for over 3 years with my social anxiety. I feel ridiculous about it. Who do I even talk about this to? Part of me wants to tell her, but it’s overridden by the concerns mentioned above