I just want a woman’s perspective on this situation
So long story short, I've been on and off with a women (M27 - W30) for a around 2 years.
After lots of trust issues and trauma she approached me again and we finally talked it all out with lots of tears and feelings. I feel like most if not all of the stuff which was on my mind has been said in exactly the way I wanted and she took all of it in and understood, including apologizing for past situations and opening up about things I was just guessing about.
Everything is going pretty well but my nervous system and head are starting to internally question and wanting to monitor anything which is happening to alert me as early as possible, causing this past feeling of uncertainty with where we are going and if everything is fine.
This already starts in any minor conflict where in the past she would have just backed off and shut down, which she is not doing anymore. I just have this (likely unreasonable) fear of repetition of the things which happened earlier between us, even if just the slightest thing happens which doesn't hold any weight.
I will be honest and share one example, during those times where we were split (always was her decision) she quickly had contact with other men (ONLY online, no hook ups or whatever). If I believe what she said (I do), she talked to her therapist about it and she just never was able to fully commit to me due to ongoing health problems, including physical and especially mental, and therefore she just semi committed to any unneccessary online relationship which lasted a few weeks at best, avoiding any meaningful connection with me because she could not take it. Most of this has been worked on and she seems to be very aware and improved in that regard, yet the slightest form of ''delay in responses'' / contact with online friends of her triggers this disgusting fear inside of me which I cannot control.
The last time where we split and ended in no contact she kind of backed away slowly and then started ghosting me so any state in which we are currently not communicating as much as the previous days triggers this fear aswell.
I hate that this somewhat affects our dynamic because I do not believe that things will repeat again, I could be wrong.
Maybe someone can help or share their perspective, happy and thankful about any comments!