I'll just get straight to the point. I (M28) met this girl (29) on Bumble (figures, dating app disaster). To be more detailed, I've landed in Tokyo the 2nd of April and I matched this girl the 7th. We started chatting and hit it off. Stayed up until 6am just texting the first night, we both felt a connection and shared a lot of values. It all seemed perfect, we also called until late at night basically everyday. She started showing some weird things on the 9th, when she unmatched me on Bumble because she thought I was still talking to other matches (I had stopped talking with other girls I matched with because I was basically logging on the app just to talk to this girl, and also canceled some dates because I felt like this connection was more valuable than some random 1st dates). Luckily we had previously shared contacts so I could be a fucking miserable idiot and go after her. Somehow it worked and we started talking again the same day, still having long calls and even planning a date for that Saturday. She said she wanted to cuddle, that she wanted to bite me and all kind of flirty comments in between.
Then again, everything seemed fine but she canceled Friday night saying that "maybe we shouldn't meet". When I asked her why, she told me that she was scared to trust again and she didn't wanted to overthink over a guy anymore because it made her doubt me and made her feel like shit. Apparently her ex gave her a lot of trust related traumas. I was understanding of the situation, tried to tell her it was alright, that she didn't had to rush things if she didn't felt comfortable and that I still would go to our meetup spot just in case she changed her mind. Obviously she didn't come, so I made use of thr situation by going solo shopping and getting some things I needed anyway for everyday life. No big deal, she used some words that hurted me pretty badly in the process and that actually made me cry but I'm more on the sensitive side of things when it comes to relationships.
Fastforward a couple of weeks (sometimes here she would go MIA the entire day and come back at night with one of two patterns: 1- said she missed me and being clingy and needy, 2- saying I should forget her and she wasn't worth of my time and that she couldn't be the girl I was expecting her to be), friends from my hometown came to visit in Tokyo and I went hanging out with them. Mind you, we still hadn't met (me and the girl, I mean) because she was scared that if we ended up together then I would surely leave her, get tired and dump her/cheat on her, go back to my country etc... I still texted her throughout the days and that night wasn't an exception, sending her pictures of my friend to prove her I wasn't going on dates while trying to show her I wad committed to that connection. I got a bit drunk that night, bar hopped until 3 am, during which I still texted her costantly. She blocked me that night saying I didn't care about her (I also told her I would've left my friends with an excuse to call her, because I'm that much of an idiot). She then came back after some messages and a couple days, we figured things out and things were smoother than ever. HERE I started to think that this might have gone somewhere. Today tho she didn't replied to a single text I sent her. When I confronted her about it, she told me she wanted me to forget about her and same routine as ever. I won't say how many times this happened but I actually lost sleep and social opportunities with friends to stay by her side. All of a sudden, she blocks me everywhere. Now, probably she'll be back again in some days, but still it hurts.
She said multiple times that she found me so handsome she would marry me in an instant for looks alone, that I'm funny, smart and everything she ever wanted. So unless she was lying, I think attraction isn't the problem here. Does she just have huge traumas that she needs to work on befote committing to a relationship? Or was she leading me on the whole time? I seriously I'm both so confused and frustrated by the whole situation it's not even funny anymore.
Some external opinion might help, so I decided to try and post my experience here. I'm looking for whatever you have to tell me! Tips of ppl that have went through something similar or really anything.
I want to let you know that I really like this girl, both personality wise, mannerisms and looks.
I also know it's likely over this time, this block seems different than the others. I just don't know where to hit my head rn