u/Alrig01

We have be separated less than a week. We have zero kids, 3 dogs, a cat, a house and one car. Those are our biggest items. Don’t going to big into everything but she surprised out of the blue on Sunday and wanted a divorce and blindsided me. So I got my stuff and moved to my parents house. She has the car as I have two I can drive up her.

I have a lawyer had one meeting to sign paperwork to use them.

My wife has already sold our car to a dealership to get the loan in her name only. I did say in text that I would leave her with the car and the she could refinance. Now she is ready to sell the house. Has a realtor coming in a week and wants the dogs out of the house. I agreed I would get the dogs as soon as I had some fencing options in place as I know live on a large plot of land and my dogs would end up running away as we have no fence.

It just feels like she is speed running this and we have not signed anything with the lawyers like the dissolution paper work or divorce paper work. See my lawyer tomorrow but just needed to vent.

So I have been trying to use this experience to improve myself and I finally had a day where everything just seems to either go my way or just had a nice spin on.
Small back story wife asked for divorce 5 days ago out of the blue after she visited her new bf ( did not know at the time) said she has loved him for 20 years she is 39 he is 52. We have been together for 22 almost married 10. We had not been fighting and I thought we were in a good place making plans for short and long term. So I was shocked and devastated.

So onto today. I was making a proposal for our dissolution per her request. She wanted to sell the house. So I did so and she hated most of it because I thought it was equal and fair and not strongly siding her. So point for me in frustrating her. Later I had my first meeting with my therapist. I’m a very logical person and if I can wrap my head around stuff I can process it. In speaking with him and telling him the events he said I was handling this in an extremely healthy manner and he had question that if my wife knew or understood her feelings. Made my day because she keeps telling me I need therapy and that I need to learn how to handle my emotions. In talking to him I learned that I was being taken advantage of because I would give to her and sacrifice myself, mentally, emotionally, and physically to make her happy. That I need to focus on me.

Just wanted to share a bit of good news

Tdltr wife wanted divorce out of the blue. Therapist says she’s the one who needs therapy and I’m doing good. Emotional high tonight