My (34 cisf) wife (36 mtf) started her transition a few months ago (yay!!!), it was a long time coming and I’m absolutely ecstatic for her. Thankfully she and we have had a lot of support at work, from peers, our communities, some family and friends. But…. some members of her family have not been as understanding and supportive.
So a bit of preface and TW my mother was murdered when I was 17 and my father left when I was a kid. I have no other blood related relatives and because of this I have felt quite alienated in certain situations and times. I’ve always longed for a sense of family and really appreciated when my wife’s family made it a point to include and invite me to things. It meant the world to me. My wife’s uncle that we are/were very close to has been one of the people that’s accepting but not. He accepts my wife’s pronouns and chosen name but he said he no longer recognizes our marriage as his belief is that marriage is between a man and a woman (yes, he’s quite religious).
I come from a home that was riddled with abuse. I grew up seeing and hearing things I really shouldn’t have. I grew up watching my amazing mother be treated so poorly. Because of that I have always made it a priority to be a good spouse and to have a spouse that treats me well (my wife is all that and so much more, she’s incredible to me). We have been together for 18 years and have so much love in our home and for this I feel incredibly blessed. It breaks my heart that a family member that we have a lot of love and respect for said this.
I know that the silver lining is that my wife’s uncle accepts her for who she is but it’s absolutely breaking my heart that our relationship is not accepted. I again feel incredibly alienated, I feel rejected by people whom I thought were family. Especially because of how accepting and inclusive they have been in the past with me. It might sound dramatic but I feel betrayed.
My wife being the amazing spouse she has always been responded to this uncle with a VERY strongly worded email and is defending me and our relationship. She essentially said it’s not his place to decided the validity of our marriage. He has yet to respond which either way to me is fine.
Im writing this not because I necessarily need advice or guidance. I just needed a space to put this somewhere for the moment. It’s been a few days since this has happened and it’s been eating at me ever since. I do have a therapist, a support system and have an appointment coming up, but sometimes these things are a little too heavy to wait and if you took the time to read this, I sincerely thank you and appreciate your time. 💖