Setting boundaries around unwanted touching at sex club
Not too long ago, I started going to a sex club. As I was making the rounds, a pretty woman waved at me, so I waved back and sat down to talk to her. She was sitting on her own. As we were talking, our shoulders were touching, which I liked.
At some point, her male partner comes over and joins the conversation. This was fine with me; however, what was not fine is he immediately put his hand on my knee and started stroking it. This was uncomfortable, and it went on for way too long. I didn’t say anything, because I didn’t know how to speak up in front of his partner, who was touching me in a way I liked.
As an aside, I’m considering being open to couples looking for threesomes, but it worries me that I struggle to set boundaries. I’ve gotten a lot better at it than I used to be, but I still struggle when there’s an audience. I’m not interested in the couple in question, as I later found out they’re a package deal and I was only interested in the woman.
I’ve considered some ways I could have set boundaries with the man, but I was worried that I would upset the woman, or that she would think her touching me was unwanted. Would saying “please don’t touch me” sound too harsh? What are some phrases I can use in the future? Has anyone had to set boundaries with one half of a couple during a threesome, and if so, how did you handle it?