Dating apps despair
This is gonna be a real venting one -sorry in advance- So I’ve been single for about 3 years now, and the first year I made it my goal to be single and recover from my breakup and find myself again. No dating, no men. It was amazing and much needed, I made lots of new friends, went on trips, got hotter, etc. and all good. Then, I got horny so I wanted to have fun and experiment more stuff in sex, so I went to Tinder, Feeld, and Hinge. I’m F(31) attractive, I’m funny, with a fantastic career, hot, and open-minded (not bragging, just how it is and how people percieve me) and so you have an idea. I’d say I’m pretty normal in terms of character, nothing special. It’s never been an issue for me being on these apps. I’d open one and I’d have hundreds of likes (on Feeld I had over 2000 even at times). Of course, most of these guys are not what I’m looking for, and many of them are creeps. All good, I’m used to it. I’d skim through profiles and still always was able to find matches, go on dates, have fun, have sex, whatever. Then, after a few months of uncomplicated fun and cute dates, I decided I wanted to take a break from the apps (they take so much time), so I did. For about 10 months I’ve been out of the game.
Last month, with spring coming, I decided to get back into it. Well I honestly don’t know what the hell happened between last year and this year, but I’ve started being kinda ghosted here and there (like we’d talk for a week or more, we’d set a date to meet, and on that day, ghosted.) Or I’d talk to guys -again- for weeks, and they wouldn’t make any fucking effort to meet at all. I see no initiative whatsoever from men, and it keeps happening, with seemingly no explanation. What on earth is going on?! It feels like they’re little princesses expecting us to do the heavy work? But it’s not even that, because then they still end up ghosting/unmatching because then you’re too available and in my experience this has never worked well either. I have a feeling that they’re all struggling mentally much more than before, I percieve them as being more tired, more anxious, more retreated into themseleves, less excited to meet despite having great banter and convos, and I have a feeling that they’ve given up on women in a way (just like we’re kinda doing more and more with them). And I’m pointing at them because I have literally the same pictures I had before, the same bio. Nothing changed, and it’s not like my communication style changed in a year either. So it ain’t me(!?)
It’s very frustrating, and I’m so inclined to just delete the apps again and fuck it, do my own thing, but of course, at the same time, I’m a human being, I crave intimacy, I miss sex, and emotional connection. And yeah, my life is full. Like full, full. I have incredible close friendships, a good job that allows me to travel and all that, a good family, hobbies, the whole thing. It’s not that something’s lacking. But you cannot replace romantic love with platonic one/friendships as much as we say we can. It’s not the same, and don’t dare to shame me for wanting this 🤣 I wish I didn’t, but I do. And I don’t wanna supress this feeling of wanting love. It wouldn’t be nice to myself and I’m nice to myself haha
So yeah, short of telling me to decenter men (which I already actively do for 98% of my time), I wanted to know…. does anyone have the same issue compared to previous years? Or am I tripping here? 😭