I (F30) attempted 2 days ago. Nothing serious happened (didnt need hospitalisation), but I really wanted to die. I told my psychiatrist/therapist and parents/brother the next morning, told them I dont have any more energy inside me. I also called my boss and told her I need the next 2 days off, those days passed and I still feel extremely tired. My psychiatrist increased the dose of my medication and added another one, she also said I need 24/7 surveillance provided by my family (hospitalisation in a psych ward is not really possible most of the time, the only legit hospital is over capacity).
I am a pediatrician, fresh off residency, living with my parents (never moved out). I think I was already depressed and burnt out during residency but getting to see my co-residents every day was what kept me alive. I graduated 2 months ago, didnt get any good job offers. One of my residency teachers offered me an admin job which pays better than many clinical jobs. I still see patients in some clinics here and there (covering shifts). But I started to feel progressively lost. The thing that kills me is I still have no energy even now that Im not in residency.
These past few days after my attempt feel really hazy like a dream and Im just sleeping. I dont really know what else to do the rest of my “off week” besides going to therapy.